Moutain Biking - My Sort of Sport

Mountain biking is, in my opinion, the ultimate sport. It is the the perfect blend of athleticism and alcoholism. Racing does take place, but, unlike its distant cousin road biking, is not necessary. In some circles it even downright scoffed at. It is perfectly acceptable to ride as hard or as easy as you want, stop when you want, & pack as much shit in your camelbak as you choose. When you get back to the trail head - put up your stuff and open up a cooler of beer. What could be better. You don't even have to wear that dorky-assed cycling clothing unless you want to.
Mountain Biking also affords its enthusiasts ample opportunity to lust after and purchase a dizzying array of upgrades and accessories, thereby satisfying the insatiable desire to continually purchase more crap than necessary. Will it make you go faster? Probably not, but you sure will look much cooler maintaining your same old pace.
Throughout the year, there are events for racers and non racers alike. I tend to lean towards "festivals" - three day events sponsored by clubs for the sole purpose of riding, eating, drinking, and more of each. The only racing that goes on at these events are "clunker crits" - races infused with adult beverages that involve bicycles that are in such bad shape that a homeless person would turn their nose up at the though of being seen on them.
Yep, This is my sport. I have tried other sports - turns out being on team sports requires more tolerance of assholes than I have patience for. I do some road riding as well, but roadies take themselves waaaayyy to friggin serious. Especially considering the goofy clothing they wear. I enjoy fishing, but lets face it - despite how hard the marketing geniuses try, fishing is a pass time - not a sport. Golf? Yea, right! Next! Actually, a while back in the 80s, I did enjoy the hell out of racquetball. I was in the navy at the time, left for a six month cruise, and when I got back, I found out that the racquet sports gods had deemed racquetball a sin of the highest order and banished it from the land.
So Mountain biking it is! I can ride group or solo, be out in the woods all day, have a beer afterwards. Its all good - no need to explore further - what could possibly go wrong??
Its July 2nd, 2010. I am minding my own business on face-book, amazed once again about the amount of stupid assed shit people deem worthy to tell the whole world about.
suddenly, a message icon comes up from a good friend that now resides in Mexico. We talk about the demise and health issues of some of our classmates. The rest of the conversation follows-his part is in italics.

I'm thinking about the Ocala Marathon in January. Any interest?

all 26? that is pretty bad ass of you...I run slow as shit btw...but I aint done one b4...

The training for one is usually 18 weeks. I am slow as turtle shit too. Getting done in less than 6 hours is what I'm aiming for.
I'm doing #4 in NY state this august and will probably do a couple more this year just to keep my head straight. It would be a cool thing to go back to Marion county and see some people. I would be even cooler to do the marathon (or even the half) with you as part of the trip.

What the fuck? I'm game! what could possibly go worng?!

This, after all, was a challenge call...plus, I had never done one before. You can get away with almost anything once......